24 Apr “Down” dating and using it to practice building your confidence
If you have been out of the dating realm for some time and you are looking for some self-confidence boost, there’s “down” or practice dating.
Down dating is a process of dating men that you may not necessarily be a match for, like younger men or men that don’t match your preference. This kind of dating will allow you to explore what you want and don’t want, build your self confidence, and best of all allow you to have some fun!
I know as women we want to also have our own abundance, but we also generally want the man we are with to also have his abundance.
Now I’ve heard many relationships were that isn’t as important. It’s important in my relationship and that would be a deal breaker for me.
And I think often times we don’t talk about them or look at them clearly and that get us in trouble.
What I do see as a powerful way to get back into dating is to date someone that maybe isn’t your highest value.
And if you’re feeling a lack of confidence and you’re just getting back in the game, well it can’t hurt. I did that before. I dated mostly younger men and it was more play, and it its fun, and I did build my confidece so I can’t say that’s a bad thing.
In fact sometimes when you’re out in dating room and you are in your mature years, I do think that it’s valuable to at least just date.
And when there’s a younger man liking you, its an ego boost and does help you with your confidence.
but I really think from that surface area that is not a deeper intimacy or authenticity of what you really want for yourself.
The longest term relationship tend to be very powerful within common interest and with common values.
- Practice that space where you know where you’re going.
- I recommend getting to know the person on the phone before you go out on a date with him.
- I recommend getting comfortable and getting to know you more through a relationship and don’t wait until you feel confident to go on dates.
- Build the confidence as you going on dates.
- Do a practice. Practice doing some fun activities with them.
- Do things that are activity or passion-driven versus going on a date and just having dinner.
- Ask them question and get to know them.
Find out your values practice dating even if its down dating and it will lead you more towards the path of connection and the clarity.
- And when you go on that date and you come back write down, journal it:
- What are all the things you love about that date?
- What are the things that in no way you are going with that guy again?
- What do you don’t want?
So the next guy you talk to, you’ll have more clarity. So just have fun with it, play with it, open yourself to new experiences and just imagine you’re just in a playground and you get to have fun dating.
Develop your confidence.