19 Apr Feel expansive and joyful during your online dating journey.
Online dating can leave us ladies depressed, frustrated, upset, and oftentimes more lonely and it doesn’t have to be.
Online dating can be an expansive adventure into friendship, love, and connection with another person. It took me almost two years to discover this and it can take you a weekend to experience this too. Change the dating and love game in 3 days.
How can you make your lovelife hot and adventurous?
This is a personal, adventurous story of how I online dated for two years before I met Tom, whom I’m in a loving relationship now.
I was divorced and my intuition was telling me to move away in California.
I was dating mostly younger men. And after two years of just having fun and really connecting with myself, I realized I was never alone.
I went through periods where I wasn’t dating anyone, of dating older men, of dating men my age.. then I thought that I want to open myself to a bigger pool, and I decided to test out online dating.
I had a lot of judgement around this – don’t you have to be desperate to online date? Those were one of my judgement in my head.
I signed up for eHarmony, Match, OKCupid, and Tinder – it was quite a ride.
Depends on where I travelled, these apps automatically matched me with dates in the area and I would always go on dates.
When I was lonely, I dated really poorly.
When you’re dating, the first and number one key is you need to date in the right space.
Date from a place of connection, not from a place of loneliness.
Second, know “why” you are dating, find your purpose.
Find something you want to do with someone.
Example: If you like dancing, say on your profile that you’re looking for a dance partner or someone who will go dancing with you.
This is about finding a purpose for dating. What do you want from this experience.
- do you want to get married?
- do you want to fall in love?
- do you want to have children?
- do you not want to have children?
- do you want a guy that has children?
Third, download my free eSensual Starter Kit and use my relationship roadmap.
Get clear about what you want.
Fourth, get to know the difference between the female and male brain.
Find about attachment styles. Get the test and know you attachment style.
- Anxious – unless I constantly get reinforcement about my love, I become needy, grabby, messy
- Avoidant – when the sensation of a relationship gets so intense, you avoid. You check out and leave it. A lot of people who are online dating are avoidant
- Secure – There’s not a lot of secure-attached online because they are long-term relationship people
BONUS TIP: Get on a phone call with the man that you are interested in, with your roadmap in front of you, and start questions in a conversational way.
Be absolutely upfront and clear.
Date someone is who going to be your best friend.